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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?